Monday, 1 September 2014

Story Writing

I feel like I have been around on this planet for about 1000 years. I still am looking for this mysterious object I have been sent here for, I have been given these exact clues it looks like a crystal, it has a purple glow to it and is a diamond shape. I have my two companions with me, Cobble and Hope they are real close to me. Our chances of heading home are slim, the ship that we used to land on this dreadful planet is broken and no mechanic can fix it. So we had to walk quiet a far way to the closest motel, about 600 km from our shipwreck. I am searching for a crystal that provides power, we need it for our planet because at the moment our planet has no power at all. 

We were yet still walking to find this crystal we heard something collapse behind us, it was a kind of... of creature with talons and a tail. We realised we have been followed this whole time has the crystal already been found? Have we been on this planet for 1000 years for nothing? The creature got up slowly talking in a weird kind of language, Cobble said that he could understand the random creature. Cobble said the creature said this before he died "Run,  run now before it is too late." I said to Cobble and Hope, "Why would we need to run?" BANG a huge spaceship was behind us shooting. So I yelled at the top of my lungs "Ruunnn!" We heard a loud voice speaking from the spaceship that for some reason I could only understand. I stopped running and listened the space ship carried on shooting and I could see that the spaceship was missing on purpose. The ship landed and the hatch opened I said to myself "Could it be?" yes it was! My parents with the crystal.

(I wasn't finished)

1 comment:

  1. It was really good that you had something to find like the crystal so it makes the story interesting. You had really good structure for the first paragraph, but I think the second paragraph may been a little rushed. Your creativity was good but maybe you could of made the ending a little bit more of a twist instead of your parents having it. You got through a lot of the questions, and the dialogue was great. Overall your story was really good apart from a couple of SPG errors and maybe working on your creativity a bit more but i really enjoyed it.